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Big bazookas blog. I had a moment yesterday before my hair appointment, when I stopped in at a grocery store for a Pepsi and gluten free macaroons no judging!

As I rounded the corner to grab the cookies, I came face to face with a very pregnant woman who's two toddlers were full-on brawling over a box of animal crackers.

Her shoulders were slumped, and tears made her eyes shiny. Almost three years ago, I was her. Same grocery store, different aisle.

It was shortly after having our third baby in just over four years and I needed stuff at the store in those days, my very sanity rested precariously on the availability of Pepsi, homo milk, formula, and goldfish crackers.

Nick was working, and I told myself that, "I can do this! I can grocery shop with three kids! The woman looked at me kindly and said,.

Unfortunately, her mythical date of improvement failed to give me comfort that day. But she was right; it got better, it got easier.

Everything has. I felt disconnected I've used this blog to chronically my growth, as an adult, and just as importantly, as a parent.

I can't really pinpoint when things got better; I think I just got better- god knows my kids are still kinda assholes stop judging.

All kids are kinda assholes. Somewhere along the way, I found what I needed to be happy and healthy. I'm not sure what else I have planned for NudeMommy I don't need to use it as a pressure valve anymore, but I'm not ready to stop blogging; I feel like it just needs to evolve- like I did.

I opened my mouth to regurgitate that super unhelpful advice that was offered me Before I thought about it for too long, I gave her a quick hug, and told her she was doing a good job, that she was a good mom.

Because that's what she needed to hear; that's what I had needed to hear that day three years ago. I snatched my cookies, that her two kids were now fighting over, and left to enjoyed some "Me" time getting my hair done my 5" roots failed to start a global trend unfortunately while Nick wrangled our kids at home.

I can buy them jeans for that price. We need a revolution for this people- if someone needs to lose a head for this to happen, so be it. T'was the night before summer vacation And all through the villa,.

Oh my Lord. In playgrounds! In museums! Exhausted and dirty,. In time for supper and bath time. Then in bed by With a list of stuff to do.

Our days will be long,. Filled with crayons, and scissors,. Disney, and songs. Keeping them busy and happy. Will be a labour of love,.

This is what Summer memories. Are surely made of. Happy summer vacation to all, and to all a stiff drink! I have one full week to live. Ours is not a family that does well without consistent structure.

Previous summers have taught me that I can no longer say, "we'll see how it goes" or "I don't know what we have planned yet.

You guys? I have 68 days to fill with outside play dates, sensory activities, educational field trips, camp outs, cook outs, craft ideas, visiting random mostly deaf relatives, swimming, soccer, gardening, and playgrounds.

Gone are the days of leisurely tanning in the backyard with a beer and a book; afternoons spent in the backyard now requires 1L of SPF 85, bug spray, wide brimmed hats, enough liquid to hydrate Wisconsin, band aides, iPod for music, a backpack full of snacks, and a slightly drunk Mommy is always favourable.

I started planning for the summer holidays in May- that bitch isn't going to sneak up and ruin my life this year!! Oh no- with the help of caffeine and Pintrest, I got this.

I have an entire virtual board filled with crafts, activities, and educational-homework-disguised as fun. These little bastards are going to go to bed each night exhausted, creative, and smarter- so help me God.

Friday, June 13, Father's Day. Today, I'd like to acknowledge the men among us who are lucky enough to be called "Dad".

Today is for the modern man, the New Dad who learns how to change diapers, who takes his turn in the nightly feeding rotation, who gets spit up on, barfed on, and shit on Today is for the dads patiently teaching their kids to take a step, kick a ball, read a word, shoot a puck, cast a rod, tie their shoe, play a riff, change a tire, pump their own gas, do long division, tie a neck tie, hold the door open for an elder, and burp the alphabet.

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Disney, and songs. Keeping them busy and happy. Will be a labour of love,. This is what Summer memories. Are surely made of.

Happy summer vacation to all, and to all a stiff drink! I have one full week to live. Ours is not a family that does well without consistent structure.

Previous summers have taught me that I can no longer say, "we'll see how it goes" or "I don't know what we have planned yet. You guys? I have 68 days to fill with outside play dates, sensory activities, educational field trips, camp outs, cook outs, craft ideas, visiting random mostly deaf relatives, swimming, soccer, gardening, and playgrounds.

Gone are the days of leisurely tanning in the backyard with a beer and a book; afternoons spent in the backyard now requires 1L of SPF 85, bug spray, wide brimmed hats, enough liquid to hydrate Wisconsin, band aides, iPod for music, a backpack full of snacks, and a slightly drunk Mommy is always favourable.

I started planning for the summer holidays in May- that bitch isn't going to sneak up and ruin my life this year!!

Oh no- with the help of caffeine and Pintrest, I got this. I have an entire virtual board filled with crafts, activities, and educational-homework-disguised as fun.

These little bastards are going to go to bed each night exhausted, creative, and smarter- so help me God. Friday, June 13, Father's Day.

Today, I'd like to acknowledge the men among us who are lucky enough to be called "Dad". Today is for the modern man, the New Dad who learns how to change diapers, who takes his turn in the nightly feeding rotation, who gets spit up on, barfed on, and shit on Today is for the dads patiently teaching their kids to take a step, kick a ball, read a word, shoot a puck, cast a rod, tie their shoe, play a riff, change a tire, pump their own gas, do long division, tie a neck tie, hold the door open for an elder, and burp the alphabet.

Today is for the stay-at-home dads. God bless you. You gently flip society the bird while holding a crying toddler on your hip, helping Jr with his homework, and turning out a delicious supper all at the same time.

Today is for the dads with daughters. Thank you for embracing pink and purple. Thank you for participating in tea parties, for knowing all the Disney princesses' names, for bringing beautiful flowers to her dance recital.

Thank you for standing your ground and not letting her leave the house in that outfit, for giving her boyfriend a chance, for encouraging her to do anything- be everything, for barely holding it together walking her down the aisle.

Today is for the dads with sons. Thank you for letting him decide what he's interested in. Thank you for letting him try every single sport, every single instrument, every single video game.

Thank you for taking him outside, for teaching him how to treat women properly, for telling him that it's ok to make mistakes, for suggesting that he sees the world.

Thank you for being the best example of what a "real man" should be. Today is a hurrah for the single dads.

Are you even human?? Seriously, good for you; I think you're amazing. Your kids do too- trust me. Today is for the dads of special needs children.

These dads who navigate and overcome pained emotions, and loss of future dreams daily to find genuine contentment and joy in the kid they have been blessed with.

We should exude gratitude and praise to these men, as the reality is that their kids may not be able to. Today is for the not-so-present dads.

May today act as a reminder to them that they are not too late, that they can still be an active, instrumental part of their child's life. The happiest of Father's Days to you xo.

Tuesday, June 10, Life is more entertaining in my head. I'm a pretty good parent- but if truth be told, that's only because I'm exceptional at censoring what's really going on in my head.

What I say in my head: multicoloured spaghetti diarrhea? And that purple squiggle in the corner looks like a dick. What I say out loud: Wow! Look at all those colors- can you name them all for me?

It's beautiful. Kid says: Can I play with the IPad in bed? What I say in my head: I have a date with level 83 of Candy Crush in 10 minutes.

You're going down chocolate mountain! What I say out loud: the blue light from the iPad is bad for sleepy time. Kid says: Oh yeah? Well I don't like you anymore!

What I say in my head: I haven't liked you in weeks- you're an asshole! As a matter of fact, we're through. Pack your crap and get out!

I'm calling my mother. What I say out loud: That hurt my feelings. You sit here alone and think about that.

Kid says: Guard the door while I go poop. What I say in my head: We're the only two home!? Who in their right mind wants to barge in on your stinky self pooping??

What I say out loud: Sure thing Bud. What I say in my head: No. What I say out loud: Good communicating- you're so smart Kid says: Are those your boobies?

What I say in my head: Nope. I went to the plastic surgeon and paid big bucks for these over-sized-had-three-kids-saggy tits. Aren't they awesome?

Kid says: Let me play you a song on my drum. What I say in my head: Holy fuck I wish you wouldn't. What I say out loud: I love your songs!!

Kid says: Bubble Guppies. What I say in my head: Wow- you're an asshole. What I say out loud: I didn't hear any manners Kid says: I really want a cookie.

What I say in my head: Me too What I say out loud: Supper is almost ready. You can have one after. Kid says: If Storm and Firestar had a fight, Firestar would win.

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